I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
