my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's never too late to be topless.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
