good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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