mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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