your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
