aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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