so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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