i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
