Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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