turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize