bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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