i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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