Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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