So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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