my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
