I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize