There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
