brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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