so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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