loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize