He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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