Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize