im having a threesome with these popsicles
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
