Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
