I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
