How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
