What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
