hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
