you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
