sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
