i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
