Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
