if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
