So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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