You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
