he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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