So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
