he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
