I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize