I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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