Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
