Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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