Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize