Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i now understand why vodka
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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