she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
