Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
