At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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