he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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