I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
