Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
