my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i think my tv is drunk
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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