There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
