i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
