Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
