Can i not drive my cunt home
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
