To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Holy shit dude........stairs
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
