I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
