You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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