i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
