Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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