He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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