god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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