Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just sucked dick on a ferry
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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