tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
