fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
