Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
