We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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