You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
