Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize